I have been wondering lately if all of this book writing/marketing/pitching, etc. is really worth it. I open my mail and see long lists of emails about market research, using the latest plotting tool, creating the right mindset (I am beginning to hate that word, since I apparently don't have the right mindset--my royalties suck) to sell my books. There are emails where folks offer their services, (hooray, they'll get my books out there in front of the readers), for only a few hundred dollars each. Email lists, social media ads, school visits, trailers, researching, and the list goes on and on.
I learned that I need to schedule my time, stick to the schedule, sell myself... There is even a workshop for author introverts! All for a price, mind you. And I have paid some of those prices, only to feel overwhelmed and underachieving. I understand that there are so many different ways to make money in this business. But when I get all gung ho, and then do or say something that stomps on someone else's toes or writing psyche, I begin anew to wonder--is all this worth it?
Writing is a part of my life. It has been for thirty years. I love creating stories. I crank out about a 1000 words a day. That part's easy.
When I was writing fan-fiction, I dreamed of being a published author. Now I dream of writing fiction unfettered by the need for income, or reviews, or ads. I could probably make do on my retirement, but I am afraid I need the income my book writing would bring. Except it isn't. So here I am, stuck by my desires, temperament, and insecurities.
Have any of the rest of you felt this way? How did you overcome it?
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